6 Strategies To Be Kind To Yourself

“I met someone that was unkind to me. He treated me as if my life and my feelings and my essence did not matter. I felt used, abused and trashed. I felt like dirt and I felt dirty. He lured me in with pretty words and he made sure that I was as hooked on his bait like a fish to a lure. I didn’t see it coming. I was in such desperate need to have those words and thoughts said to me that I didn’t see what was really happening. I became unkind to myself.”

A client came to me a few months ago and this is how our conversation started. She was devastated and feeling down on herself. Since our initial coaching session there have been tiny breakthroughs and the breakthrough that seems to be helping pull her out of her sense of worthlessness is kindness. My client discovered the power of kindness when I asked her how she expresses kindness to herself. How was she expressing kindness to herself , her essence when she allows someone to have such influence over her emotions and thoughts?

We all need reassurance and validation. It’s okay to fall off the top of the “I like me” cheerleader pile. Making sure you get back up is the hard part but no matter what you have to do, get back up. We have to find a way to restore ourselves to rights when we get knocked down. How do you show kindness to yourself when someone has not been kind to you, even if that someone was you?

I think Plato said it best and true when he said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” In the months following my initial session with my client, she has come to realize that along with forgiveness of self and of this unkind person, comes the realization that her self-worth would benefit from not being wrapped up in someone else’s actions. This guy that was unkind to her was definitely dealing with some deep personal issues regarding women and she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The question now is, what lessons can be learned strongly and deeply enough that compassion and kindness become the rule and the norm?

American humorist and writer Sam Levenson understood what women really needed when he wrote what I have come to refer to as the Bobby Brown commandment book of becoming an awesome woman:

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it at least once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. As you grow older you will discover that you have 2 hands; one for helping yourself and one for helping others.”

There have been too many times in my life that I have let a low sense of self-worth get the better of me. As I’ve gotten older I have realized that one quick way to help alleviate the pain of that personal despair is to help someone. Getting out of my own way, getting to the business of kindness toward others is a sure fire way to leave myself behind and make someone else feel like a winner. It’s very simple really and you have heard me say this so many times before, other people matter. So ultimately someone else is going through just what I am going through therefore I am not alone. And because I am not alone I will reach out, share my story and heal, not only my heart but the heart of someone else.

Recently I committed to volunteer and teach a creative writing class to a group of middle school children through the Boys and Girls Club of America. I am so excited to work with them. It is an uplifting way for me to give not only of my time but of my passion. It gets me out of my own head and into the thought processes of children that carry hope and possibility through their veins. For me, this is an exercise in kindness; the giving of myself to the betterment of others. I like that….

“When you are feeling bad about yourself or your life, do something you love. Make sure that the thing you love to do is good for you. Make sure that it will not hurt anyone else. Make sure that while you are doing it, you remind yourself of all the ways you can be more loving, more supportive, and more encouraging TO YOURSELF.” – Iyanla Vanzant

One great step in helping my client through her awareness of kindness was to start her on a personal kindness journey. Here is a small list of personal kindness steps you can take right now so that you can spread kindness from the inside out:

Speak patiently and lovingly to yourself: Whenever you start to feel like you want to berate yourself for a job not done so well, stop, take a deep breath and turn the words around. Take it one word at a time. Think in baby steps about all of the great things that happened along the way toward the end of the job. What did you accomplish? What do you like so far? What personal values are you bringing right now that let you know you are worthy? How did you forgive yourself for falling short of your values today?

“If I knew your thoughts, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you who you are. By changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.” – Dale Carnegie

Smile: We have tried this exercise before. Look in the mirror and force a smile on your face. It will feel awkward and strange and weird and silly. Good. Play around with different ways to smile. Then go out and smile at people at the grocery store. How many times did you notice a smile in return or kind eyes staring back at you? How much more at peace and how much more happy do you feel because you smiled? How did you appreciate yourself today? When were you filled with pride for yourself today? How many times did you catch yourself feeling love for yourself today? Self-compassion is as important as compassion for other people. Practice on yourself and it will be natural to show to others.

This quote can easily be read and adapted to be personal….

“One of the most spiritual things you can do is to embrace your humanity. Connect with those around you today. Say, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you”…whatever you are feeling. Send random texts, reminders, write a cute note, embrace your truth and share it…cause a smile today for someone else…and give plenty of hugs.” – Steve Maraboli

Create an encouragement jar: Lots of people have a bad habit of using foul language. In an attempt to break their bad habit they put the nasty word in a jar each time the nasty word is spoken out lous and create a fine or punishment in order to help them turn it around. The opposite is just as helpful. For each time you start to get down on yourself, quickly think of something encouraging to balance the negative personal thought. Put the encouraging word in a jar and see how many times in one week you broke the bad habit of discouragement. Before you know it the encouragement jar will be so full you might need more than one.

“Encouragement from any source is like a drop of rain upon a parched desert.” –Claire Gillian

Forgive yourself: This is a hard one for sure and the angel and devil have at it when forgiveness looms. Forgiveness starts with learning. Did you know better and ignore it? Did you learn something from a negative experience? Allow forgiveness and it will be easier to forgive others too.

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim; letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.” – C.R. Strahan

Show gratitude: Gratitude can show up in many forms. Gratitude can look like giving, listening, stillness, meditation and acceptance. Speak out loud all that you are grateful for in any moment, day, week, month, or year. The more you hear your own voice sincerely speaking gratitude the more your body will start to relax and build self-worth.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” — Epicurus

Activate you soul: Go for a bike ride, spend time in nature, read a book that makes you happy, listen to your favorite music while you make dinner or do laundry, end your day with a laugh, wash your face at the end of the day, take a bubble bath by candle light, grow something, learn to play an instrument, clean a room, bake your favorite cookie….

“Whatever satisfies the soul is truth.” –Walt Whitman

Call to Action

How do you show kindness to yourself and/or to others?

How do you feel when kindness reveals itself?

Where in your body do you feel kindness first, strongest?

If you would like to explore more about personal growth, building character strengths, or discovering what more you have inside of you please call for a free discovery session in my Art of YOU coaching program. You can reach me by calling 203-560-3061 or send an email to: lisa@journeyoncoaching.com.

Image by Simplereminders.com

Personal Thoughts to Help Bring Grace Into Your Life

“Grace has to be the loveliest word in the English language. It embodies almost every attractive quality we hope to find in others. Grace is a gift of the humble to the humiliated. Grace acknowledges the ugliness of wrongdoing by choosing to see beyond it. Grace accepts a person as someone worthy of kindness despite whatever grime or hard-shell casing keeps him/her separated from the rest of the world. Grace is a gift of tender mercy when it makes the least sense.” –Charles R. Swindoll

I remember the start of any school year and a teacher telling our class, “Today you all have an “A”. It is up to you to lose it.”

You didn’t earn the “A”, you may not even feel like you deserve the “A” but you have it and it is precious.

We are born. We didn’t deserve birth, we didn’t earn the right to be born, it wasn’t “our turn” but somehow we are here and we have an unknown amount of time to use what we have been given, life, to the best of our abilities. The grace of life is like the universe saying: “Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn’t be the same without you.” –Frederick Buechner

We were given DNA passed down to us from eons of generations and yet there is one thing we are all given at birth that no one can take away; Grace.

 “Life is grace. Sleep is forgiveness. The night absolves. Darkness wipes the slate clean, not spotless to be sure, but clean enough for another day’s chalking.” –Frederick Buechner, The Alphabet of Grace

I sometimes look forward to sleeping simply because I have a need to put this day to an end and to give myself time to restore hope for tomorrow. Every day I am given is like the universe saying, “Here is another day to make the most of you, for yourself as well as for others.” Every morning is like a rebirth into a life I was not deserving of. The awe of that thought is humbling.

To be sure, there will always be a need for grace and therefore also for gratitude. Gratitude and grace go hand in hand. Grace whispers breath into my soul and gratitude takes that breath and turns it into words and expressions and gifts to be given. “Grace is a very strong, mighty and active thing. It does not lie asleep in the soul. Grace hears, leads, draws, changes, works all in man, and lets itself be distinctly felt and experienced. It is hidden, but its works are evident.” –Martin Luther

In his book, Grateful for Everything, author Skip Johnson writes, “When we diligently study, learn, and apply skills of being grateful for everything, our day-to-day experience shifts from trying to stay one step ahead of problems to consistently trusting and appreciating life and all the lessons that are presented to us.” We were given life by grace and we maintain a graceful life through gratitude.

One of the hardest life experiences is to lose a loved one. That experience tests grace, gratitude humility, reverence and a host of other values. When my father passed away at the young age of 63 I was inundated with all of these feelings. He had been very, very sick with complications from diabetes among which took his essence from his family long before the disease took his body away and I remember the feeling of relief that washed over me and through me when my brother called to tell me he died. I remember the feeling of gratitude and grace that came over me in that moment. No more suffering. No more hardship in dealing with this disease. No more anger. No more fighting. No more tears. It cleared the way for me to remember him as my dad, the tall, sensitive, hardworking man that loved me like no one else could. Keeping his grace and gentleness inside of me, feeling grateful for having had him in my life at all, helps to insure his legacy will be strong and eternal.

It’s a given that we will stumble, fall, fail, make a mistake, err, slander and do wrong. We are human and we are at the mercy of our own evolutionary level of emotional intelligence. No two people are the same and no two souls grow and learn and evolve the same. What I may have learned at 15 may be something you are learning at 50. No worries in that because in our own time and at our own pace the lessons we need to learn will come and with it will be the emotional attachment that helps the lessons stick for good. That is grace.

I can remember many people who I have felt did me wrong in my life. I can also remember people who have shown me kindness and mercy and consideration simply because those character strengths were a part of who they wanted to be. At some point in our lives we all feel undeserving of kindness but the reality is we are all deserving of kindness especially at those low moments. That is grace.

When someone joyfully notices something about my character that I myself am in denial about that is grace; when a stranger can systematically list all the qualities about me that instantly attracted him/her to me that is grace; when a spouse can love you no matter what mood you are in, that is grace.  It is a persons’ unique, inherent ability to see goodness that makes grace unattainable through deeds. We are all born with grace and it is how we hold onto it and use it and grow with it that makes grace something to behold in spirit.

Grace is unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness and unconditional rebirth. You do nothing to earn it and it yet renewal is its life force.

How can we honor the undeserving gift of Grace:

  • Exist in a constant state of consideration and thoughtfulness. “You listen first with ears, then you wait and listen for what your heart feels, then you consider what they’ve said, then, you reply….” – John Geddes, A Familiar Rain

 

  • Express decency and mercy whenever possible, to yourself as well as to others. “When you are lying in bed at night and regrets from the day come to steal your sleep….’I should have’, ‘If only I’, ‘I wish I,’….grab one of them and turn it into ‘I will’ and sleep peacefully knowing tomorrow will be a better day.” –L.R. Knost

 

 

  • Act with grace in kindness, courtesy, gratitude and clemency. “Growing into your future with health and grace and beauty doesn’t have to take all your time. It rather requires a dedication to caring for yourself as if you were rare and precious, which you are, and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is.” –Victoria Moran, Younger by the Day

 

  • Offer reprieve to those in need. Be helpful. “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” –Charles Dickens

 

 

  • Take grace on like a second skin. Let the evolution, spirit, charm and pleasantness of grace become part of your everyday character strengths.

“Poem by Howard A. Walter”

I would be true, for there are those who trust me;

I would be pure, for there are those who care;

I would be strong, for there are those who suffer;

I would be brave, for there is much to dare.

I would be friend of all, the foe, and the friendless;

I would be giving, and forget the gift;

I would be humble, for I know my weakness;

I would look up, and laugh, and love and lift.”

Call to Action

Where does grace live in you? Is it in your heart, your head, or maybe in your soul?

How can you express your unique grace to others today?

What does grace feel like for you?

Please share your stories. Your story could make all the difference in someone’s life.

 

If you would like to explore more about personal growth, building character strengths, or discovering what more you have inside of you please call for a free discovery session in my Art of YOU coaching program. You can reach me by calling 203-560-3061 or send an email to: lisa@journeyoncoaching.com.

 

On Your Mark

Ready, Set……Gather

Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere – on water and land.”

Walt Whitman, Leave of Grass

You are getting ready to take a trip. You are preparing to take a journey that will transform your life if you let it. Gather that which you will absolutely need.

In this third installment of YOU DECIDE I will be talking about the stage of change called Preparation.

“All things are ready, if our minds be so.” – William Shakespeare, Henry V

When you were contemplating changing a behavior there were many steps you took toward the act of thinking about what to change and how to change. The preparation step in changing the problem you want to change “takes you from the decisions you make to the specific steps you take to solve the problem during the action step”, so says the authors of the book, Changing For Good (CFG) (pg. 146 CFG). Soon we will discuss the 4th step on the ladder of change, the action step.

It is very important toward your success to fully engage and not skip over the preparation step.

According to Dr. John Norcross and his book Changeology (CO), he says in his “Prep” stage of change, “There is a tiny exception to the rule of planning/preparing for change: Planning can be unsuccessful when conducted with dysfunctional perfectionism. A fascinating line of recent research suggests that extensive planning can backfire for some perfectionists. For them, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Planning that triggers constant critical self-examination can obstruct progress. There is a solution…. Tame your self-criticism, understand that no plan is perfect, and keep moving forward. If you keep criticizing yourself, add not doing so to your list of resolutions.” (Pg. 85 CO)

“I have learned that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is: myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself, every day, whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw; you have to tell yourself “That’s just fine”. You have to forgive yourself so much, until you don’t even see those things anymore. Because that’s what love is like.” – C. JoyBell C.

It is encouraged during preparation to continue to re-evaluate yourself and the problem you want to change while at the same time maintaining a feeling of confidence about your decision to change. The preparation step says things like, “Get ready, we are heading out”, “What should I pack for this journey”, “I think I can do this”, “Oh yeah, that is why I wanted to make this trip a success”.

The preparation step looks forward in all ways. “It asks you to focus on finding the most suitable type of action to overcome the problem.” (pg. 146 CFG) “We should remember that good fortune often happens when opportunity meets with preparation.” – Thomas Edison

It is a fine line at this step in the changing process to also be feeling ready to take action rather than just prepare. The problem with skipping the preparation step is that we tend to wish that just admitting we have a problem that needs to change would be enough to make that wish a reality. Remember that wishing is not enough to make most things happen. You have to find the energy to back up the wish and that energy creates hope which will lead to success in making anything you want, possible.

“If you are going to make a change, you are going to have to operate from a new belief that says life happens not TO me but FOR me. “ – Tony Robbins

Your old-self needs to imagine the new-self and get a mental picture going of what it will look like when you are working the change steps, what it or you will look like when you are fully engaged and making the changes happen.

You started to draw this mental picture during contemplation but now you are adding colors and roads to take and mapping out where and how you will travel. Hopefully you are going to eliminate unwanted surprises along the way by being mindful of what you pack, how you pack and how you will set out toward your destination. Surprises arise no matter how well we plan but trust in the research you have done, the self-talk you have engaged in, the team you have put together and the outcome you want to achieve.

If you know ahead of time that nothing is perfect and imperfection can be an ally then when the surprises crop up you will be able to handle them.

Now would be a great time to get your juices flowing by making a list of all of the perks of your changes. Here are some questions to get you started. Expand as far out as you can with each answer. Get detailed; get into a great story of your journey here:

What are all of the positive outcomes once my changes are complete?

What will I be capable of accomplishing when I change?

Who will I be free to become?

How will not only my life but the lives around me be better because of these changes?

Keep this list with you wherever you go. It is an important tool you will need to reference from time to time.

“Once a person is determined to help themselves, there is nothing that can stop them.” Nelson Mandela

Are you serious?

If this changing thing turns out to be too difficult will you give up?

When you were thinking about changing a problem way back in contemplation did you think this would be easy?

 “Many individuals make personal change a goal but often times the goal gets relegated to a place somewhere between getting a haircut and going shopping. If you attempt to accomplish too much, you will ultimately put off the more difficult tasks that change requires. You must concentrate on making this change task a priority on your to-do list.” (Pg. 151 CFG)

“What I like most about change is that it is a synonym for ‘hope’. If you are taking a risk, what you are really saying is ‘I believe in tomorrow and I will be part of it’”. – Linda Ellerbee

Don’t forget to track your progress through this step of preparation. According to Dr. John Norcross there is a way to track patterns of the problem you want to change. He suggests taking at least a few days, maybe 5, to learn about the pattern. He encourages you to become a “behavioral detective”. Ask yourself these questions so that your actions steps, when you get to that step, will be understood more clearly:

  1. What times of day are the most problematic?
  2. What are the situations that trigger the problem I want to change?
  3. What are my feelings that trigger the problem?
  4. What rewards am I offering myself that maintain the problem?
  5. What are the delayed consequences of the problem that I typically forget about? (Pg. 90 CO)

If you are looking to understand more about what triggers behaviors that need changing then the book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is a must read. He not only focuses on the new behavior but he helps you to become aware of the triggers that set off the old behavior.

 

COMMITMENT

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” – Peter F. Drucker

Part of the process of preparation is commitment. Part of the commitment process is also known as willpower. Having the deep, unflinching belief that you will succeed no matter what happens along this journey. “When you make such a commitment, it is an act of faith in yourself. Begin by having faith in all you have accomplished during the contemplation step.” (Pg. 152 CFG)

The definition of willpower reads, Noun: Control of one’s impulses and actions; self-control. Words that strengthen willpower are grit, drive, resolution, and resolve. I would offer a more powerful word than all that I have mentioned so far and that word is courage. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to even think about change of any kind.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

I didn’t know that when I thought about finally taking seriously the need to have the surgery. I didn’t realize how courageous I was being in gathering my facts and making a plan, preparing for the surgery despite all of my deep, deep fears. Having courage as my ally was very powerful once I realized I was embracing that value.

I was at a moment where I knew without a doubt that I wanted to be and live a life that seemed out of my mental and physical grasp for so long. “I’ve chosen my life, now I want to start living it.” – Stephanie Meyer, The Twilight Saga. OH YEAH!!

Take a moment and allow yourself to think about the fears surrounding you within the changes you want to make. Think about what courage means to you…..

Where do you feel the fear?

How strong is the fear that it will act as the winner in this battle toward the person you want to be?

When in your life have you shown  willpower or courage toward something that scared you, and you won?

Who was there for you through your fear and through your courage to help you face the battle ahead?

Your hands are shaking, your body is cold, your wits are scattered, your breathing is labored and shallow, what will it take at this exact moment to push through and move forward anyway?

It’s a date.

Just like a date is set for a wedding or possibly a birth or just like a graduation date is set rain or shine, a start date toward your commitment to change is an important preparation step.

Committing to a specific start date drowns out procrastination and jumping the gun of action. When you choose your start date get real about it.

Perhaps there could be significance to the date you choose (see my personal list at the end of this post). Make sure that the date is not too far off from where you are right now. Too much momentum will be lost if you wait too long to get into action.

When I chose the date of my surgery I picked a time that I knew I would be off from my job with enough time afterward to recover adequately. I also made sure that I had just enough time to keep preparing myself for the surgery but not too much time to build so much anxiety that I would definitely cancel the surgery.

 

 

Your Team

“Nobody can achieve success alone. –Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha

We touched on this in the contemplation step by thinking about who you choose to be on your support team. As always I offer myself as your cheerleader of support should you need that one extra person or that one person you can count on without any doubt.

Dr. Norcross covers quite admirably the intention of a team for support. He suggests:

“Make a real list now of potential allies. Keep in mind their availability, shared interests with your interests, and their ability to support and not criticize”.

Think about the type of support you want from these allies. Should these Special Forces be good listeners, pep talkers, someone who has already had success in this particular area of your change, or should these allies be neutral to you like that of a coach or trainer or therapist? Those most able to help are who you ultimately want.

Listen to their words when you ask for their help.” Is there hesitancy? Would this person or persons give unwanted advice or encouragement? Can you be honest enough within yourself to politely say “no, but thank you” to those well intentioned people”?

When you have successfully established your list of allies “don’t email them your request and intentions. Make it personal and leave them feeling important. Call on the phone, get together in person, or send a fancy over the top invitation by mail”. Establishing the feeling of specialness and importance toward your allies will help them understand just how precious this request is to you.

Be prepared to answer questions as clearly and precisely as possible. “Let them know the plan of action, how you prepared, why this is important and what you are going to achieve with their help. Two minutes is all you really need”.

One of the questions from your team might be “What can I do to help”? All of the work is really coming from you so just letting them know that their support and willingness to hear what you have to say through the process is the most important thing they can do.

“Be willing and able to offer the same kind of support to your allies as they have been willing to offer to you”.  To see the full list of team building steps please read Changeology by Dr. John Norcross, Ph.D. and find his list on pages 92-96.

 

“One secret of success in lie is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli

At the end of the prep chapter from his book, Changeology, Dr. Norcross lists possible days to set as your beginning or start date. I like his pattern of thinking but I want to get a little creative here and suggest other possible start dates.

Since we are still in the beginning stages of a new year I will offer possible start dates I like and that take you through the month of March. Keep in mind that you can choose to get started any time of day or week or month just because you make it so. Get inspired to find your own wacky or meaningful start date to make these changes in your life so that the dates you choose is that much more memorable and positive:

Your Birthday

Monday

Sunday if you believe that the week actually starts on a Sunday

Graduation Day

First day of any season

January

8: Bubble Bath Day (a great way to start to ease yourself into a change)

13: International Skeptics Day (a great day to prove the naysayers wrong)

24: Compliment Day

25: Opposite Day

February

1: National Freedom Day

7: Start of the Winter Olympics 2014

17: Random Acts of Kindness Day (Be kind to yourself)

22: Be Humble Day

March

3: I Want You To Be Happy Day

16: Everything You Do Is Right Day

20: Proposal Day

30: I am in Control Day 

My Story

I spent 2 more months, February to early April, researching, gathering my plan of attack should I jump ship or follow through, making my list of allies and most of all I did a ton of self-talk.

While making my plans toward the surgery I had also started to be mindful in a big way of my diet. It wasn’t just that I needed the surgery, there was a whole inside/outside image I was trying to achieve and each baby step toward that image was a positive step toward the happiness I wanted so desperately.

By the time the surgery came around I had lost noticeable weight and felt good about the direction I was going. That feeling helped empower me toward not backing out of the surgery. Even with all of that empowerment I was still fearful, nervous, second guessing my decision, I mean after all I have been living 11 years without having the surgery what would be the harm in waiting another year or two?

I think it is very okay to admit to yourself that you still feel fear and doubt while in the midst of preparing to make a change. I think it is normal. The question is, at the very moment of that start date toward change, if you turn back now and give up on making that change that you wanted so badly to make, what kind of person will you feel like? Will you respect yourself? How can anyone respect you if you always back out of what you say you will do? Will you let fear of the unknown always rule the day? What would it feel like to go through with the change and get to the other side?

“As long as we dare to dream and don’t get in the way of ourselves, anything is possible, there is truly no end to where our dreams can take us.” –Hilary Swank

Call to Action

Please take some time to answer all of the questions posed in this post. Only you can know for sure if making any change in your life is what you absolutely want to do. Here is a great website to visit and use to help you get started toward your goal of change. This website helps you to create good habits and all of the information is backed up with scientific research on behavior change.

Professor BJ Fogg teaches at Stanford University where he leads the Persuasion Technology Lab. He also runs the website: http://tinyhabits.com/ This site will help you create new behaviors in your life. On a very small scale I tried his techniques and I can absolutely say that it worked. One of his key strategies toward being successful with any kind of behavioral change is to celebrate your wins. I like the sound of that. Positive reinforcement is always a good thing. Good luck!!

For information about coaching, whether it is in a like-minded group atmosphere or one on one please contact lisa@journeyoncoaching.com or call 203-560-3061. For guidance through contemplation let’s chat for a bit.

For more wisdom wizards please visit her website at www.journeyoncoaching.com  or visit Lisa’s Pinterest Board at http://www.pinterest.com/lisazaccagnini/wisdom-wizards/.

Images by bing.com

Here are the 3 books that I recommend reading:

http://www.amazon.com/Changing-Good-Revolutionary-Overcoming-Positively-ebook/dp/B003GYEH2Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389141403&sr=1-1&keywords=changing+for+good                        

http://www.amazon.com/Changeology-Steps-Realizing-Resolutions-Norcross/dp/B00CAYHN72/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1389141450&sr=1-3&keywords=changeology

 

     http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400069289/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=boxofcrayons-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1400069289&utm_source=Box+of+Crayons&utm_campaign=ab0e2acbe5-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_74d9eafd37-ab0e2acbe5-70349973