6 Pathways toward Attracting your Dreams

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“She wasn’t where she had been. She wasn’t where she was going, but she was on her way.” Jodi Hills

I’m sure by now many of you have heard about visioning, vision statements, laws of attraction, positive energy, etc. It sounds good on paper and in conversations but does it really work and how can you make all that magic happen for your life?

An article appeared in the Business Insider in July of 2012 and writers Aimee Groth and Ashley Lutz interviewed Esther and Jerry Hicks, authors of the book, Law of Attraction: The basics of the Teachings of Abraham. In their article the writers listed ways in which you can attract more of the life you want. In a nutshell here is the list:

  1. You attract good or bad experiences based on your thoughts. In other words keep your thoughts as honest and pure as you can because even the bad stuff gets in.
  2. Thinking about something means you invite it in, even if you don’t want it.
  3. The more you focus on something, the more powerful it becomes. Don’t worry, be happy.
  4. It’s better to trust your emotions than over-think a decision. I talked about this in my post, Decisions, Decisions ( http://journeyoncoaching.com/2014/07/14/decisions-decisions-5-mindsets-toward-making-your-best-choice/).
  5. Make good things happen more quickly by thinking about them more. Jerry Hicks says, “When you give your attention to a subject and you feel only positive emotion about it, it will come very quickly into your experience.”
  6. You have to see things as you hope them to be, not as they are. The example here was that Michael Phelps would envision himself winning each swim race every night before he went to sleep.
  7. Devote time to powerful thinking. Spending time each day thinking and visioning your goals increases your chances for success.
  8. Everyone has the same chance at success. Success is not a limited resource.
  9. When disappointment shows up allow it in but do not allow it to make a home there.
  10. Avoid negative experiences if at all possible. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting experiences as much as you can. “Your attention to anything  has the power to draw it closer to you.”

While I was going through my coach training one of the hardest yet at times most impactful questions we were encouraged to keep in our arsenal was the question of what do you see for yourself or where do you want to be in 3, 5, or 10 years from now? It’s a hard question to answer for most but a great pathway toward a true vision for your life for some if not all of us.

A college student came to me for a few sessions wonderingif she was on the right path for her life. She said that she goes through this type of angst at the start of every school year because so much money is required in order for her to keep on her path toward her bachelor degree goal. Each year she wonders if the money is worth it because she has yet to sit in a classroom and not only find respect for the professors but to feel like she is learning anything of value for what she struggles to pay for this degree.

So the question came up in a session, “what do you see for yourself when these last 18 months are over?” There was no hesitation for her to answer and say that she wants to get her bachelor’s degree yet she kept on going with her thought process until I jumped in and stopped her. “Stop right there. Don’t think beyond the want. Let’s see what it will take to make the want possible.”  And so began her journey toward her vision of becoming a bachelor degree graduate. My client felt that her overwhelm was not only in finding the money each semester but also in the unknown of whether she could finish in 18 months or would she have to extend her education time line.

Visioning becomes easier when it’s broken into smaller pieces. If 3, 5, or 10 years is too much to manage then break it down into more doable pieces like 3, 5 or 10 months or even smaller pieces by measuring progress and achievements by weeks or days.

So, let’s start with a vision statement. A vision statement is a description of a desired outcome. The statement is filled with energy and determination. The statement creates a mental picture of your goal and would reflect the best possible outcome. A vision statement is letting go of all of your inhibitions and really stretching way outside of your comfort zone by imagining only the good that will come of your creativity in the end. The challenge is to go as far out of your normal way of thinking in order to get to where you want to be, in other words to open your eyes and see things as they could be.

So how do we begin to form a vision statement? Assuming you have already asked and answered the burning question of “what do I want” here are a few steps to help you get started:

According to Dr. Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D. and her book, Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams, “visionaries are asked to surrender and allow the dream or vision to materialize rather than to force it. Visioning emphasizes the heart’s desire, not what we ‘think’ we want or what we think is ‘possible’ or ‘practical’.”

  1. Describe your vision statement using “now” words. Use words as if your vision were really happening and you are working it every day. “In this moment, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precisely as you should be. In this moment, there is infinite possibility.” –Victoria Moran
  2. Make it personal. Use emotion when talking about or describing your vision. How does it make you feel to talk about it or work toward the goal you envision? Do you get excited, overwhelmed, scared, or energized? Let all the emotions come as they may. In other words how passionate are you? Does what you describe inspire you to do more, go further? Do others feel compelled to listen and support you? “The saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there is nothing to make it last.” – Nicholas Sparks
  3. Stay in touch. Use describing words like colors, smells, sounds, shapes, activities, outcomes. Make the vision as detailed as possible. Make your vision as tangible to the listener as possible, even if the listener is only you. “When you work on the little things big things happen.” –Rodger Halston
  4. Let the journey take you away. Get lost in the flow of working toward your dreams. Don’t limit yourself to only what you see. Follow your heart but stay flexible so that when the road curves and twists and bends away from your original path you will be able to expand and hone your vision even further. It’s not so much how you start but that you start. The journey is in the details and the story is the journey. “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” Ernest Hemingway
  5. Leave the inner critic at the door. Try not to let the “logical” part of you take control of the creative part of you. Think like a child who doesn’t know about limits and let the limitless you shine through. “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein
  6. Say a prayer. The more energy and support you can bring to what you want the greater the likelihood of your vision coming true. “’Help’ is a prayer that is always answered.” – Anne Lamott

“The first step toward creating an improved future is developing the ability to envision it. VISION will ignite the fire of passion that fuels our commitment to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to achieve excellence. Only VISION allows us to transform dreams of greatness into the reality of achievement through human action. VISION has no boundaries and knows no limits. Our VISION is what we become in life. ” Tony Dungy

Call To Action

What do you want? Start with something small and build from there. As you make each small want a reality you are building confidence and limitless possibilities toward the bigger visions of your life. Don’t hold back. Share your wants with me and remember I’m here to help in any way that I can.

Images by bing.com/futuresobright.com

If you would like to explore more about personal growth, building and strengthening your success characteristics, or discovering what more you have inside of you please call for a free discovery session in my Art of YOU coaching program. You can reach me by calling 203-560-3061 or send an email to: lisa@journeyoncoaching.com.

7 Strategies to Help You Be Here

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“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”
George Harrison

I would bet that for most of us Monday morning feels much like walking through ocean water, uphill, backwards, while it is raining and your eyes are closed. For even more of us life itself feels like this on a daily basis. UGH!!

Each week we hope that this Monday will be the day that will make all the difference for our hard work and sacrifice. We hope and/or wish deep down inside that this will be the week that everything changes for the better. The question is, what have you actually been doing to make that hope/wish a reality? Have you actually been here?

There is nowhere for you to get to; you are already here. What does it mean to plan for the future, to better your circumstances, to live in the notion of doing what you should and put off what you want? Every day is always now. Comedian/actress Lily Tomlin once said, “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.” I for one don’t want to be a rat. I want to win in increments and eventually feel like I don’t have to scurry and forage and bite.

As you know I am building my life coaching business. Building anything whether it is physical or metaphorical is hard work and as in the overall life equation nothing is for sure except death and taxes, as my father would say. This is not the first time that I am taking on the role of entrepreneur. In one of my previous apparitions I was a wedding photographer so creating a business is not new to me. What is new each time is the “how” and the “what”. I always like to start with the “why”. Why do I want to be a wedding photographer? Why do I want to be a life coach? Why do I want to start my own business? My “why” is always very important to discover. Suddenly, out comes my special paper that I reserve just for list making. I love making lists. Once I firmly and wholeheartedly find my “why” I am then able to work on my “what” and my “how”. I even created a template that helps me narrow down my  “why” questions to help get me to my specific “how” and “what”  of each  business category.  Some of the questions look like this:

1)      What is the outcome I am hoping to achieve?

2)      What benefit will my product/service have for someone?

3)      What are my priorities and action steps I need to engage in to make this idea come to life?

4)      What do I need to decide right now?

5)      How will I use my strengths and values toward my product/service?

6)      How will I implement each step I take?

The biggest question of all for me is how will I know I am HERE? I have created a list of 7 thoughts that help me know and help me stay focused on my here and now. I would like to share this list with you and invite you to think of anything more to add to the list.

You know you are HERE if…..

1) You remain present and mindful. This means that you are attentive and aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it. You stay focused on your current task, thought, objective.

2) You are fully engaged in your life moments. According to the father of the engaged life moments, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a book entitled, FLOW, The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Flow occurs when our thoughts and actions are deeply consumed by our projected outcome. Every part of our body is engaged in our creation process. We lose track of time and space and when we emerge on the other side of all of that creative energy we are changed and charged and feeling purposeful.

3) You are walking the talk. This means that you are completely believing and living your actions and that which you are creating and accomplishing. You talk about your purpose, you read about your purpose, you breathe your purpose, and you recruit believers to your purpose. People actually start to believe and see you as the winner of your intentions.

4) You are in touch with your energy. You know when you are feeling low and unmotivated but at that very moment you know what you need to do to re-energize your intention. This leads to the next idea….

5) You drink plenty of water. Water is a life sustaining element. We need it to flush our systems whether it is for digestion purposes or mental acuity purposes. In order to be in touch with our energy when we need to be we have to nourish our bodies to help them perform when we need them to perform.

6) You are feeling wide eyed. This is a bit deeper than energy. This speaks to our curiosity. In order to be HERE our curiosity must be peaked as much as possible. What more can I learn to help move my objective forward?

7) You constantly work your “to-do” list. Like I said, I love lists, especially “to-do” lists. These lists help me define my present moments, help create energy and objectives for each hour, day, week, and month. One of the greatest feelings I ever have is when I can cross an item off my “to-do” list. I instantly feel the amazing accomplishment the act of crossing off brings. Sure there will be items to add to another “to-do” list but that’s good. That means that I am moving ahead and have created new thought processes and new reasons to keep walking my talk, working my objective, staying on top of my purpose; my game.

Without going into definitions of each of the following, here is my list of 7 ways you know you are NOT here but you are actually way over there, somewhere, out in space…….

1) You are distracted and allow for distractions

2) You are unmotivated

3) You create excuses instead of meeting challenges

4) You feel like you are hiding away; not facing what needs to get done

5) You are projecting too far into the future; letting the work get too overwhelming

6) Your thoughts are on repeat or replay. You just can’t get out of the “song”, the excuses, the road blocks constantly playing and appearing in your head

7) You keep putting off the necessary and sometimes the unnecessary tasks

I know how hard it is to get up on Monday morning and face the prospect of another long week ahead. Setting small attainable goals each day, each hour or each 30 minutes helps break down the insurmountable mountain of a new week and a Monday morning. What I also know is that you can do this. If you are feeling more like your Monday mornings are created in excuses rather than challenges to be met then perhaps it is time to rethink your HERE?

“Don’t wait until everything is just right…There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. SO WHAT….Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger….”—Mark Victor Hansen

Call to Action

What is one thing you can do right now to help you be in the now?

How can you start to prevent procrastination?

How can you begin to get from here to there?